Where I've Been...(? lbs)

Where have I been?  Taking an unintended break from blogging (among others things).
Do that mean I've spun off out of control into bingeing?  Surprisingly, no!  I've been working on simply eating in an intuitive way (eat what appeals to me when hungry, without distraction, stopping when full).  So far, so good...  For example, one day last week I was in the middle of eating a protein bar, I decided I'd had enough, so I put it down, unfinished.  I went back to the wrapper about an hour later, realizing I'd left an uneaten piece in the wrapper.  I'd forgotten about the uneaten piece.  Moments like that give me hope - sometimes, even for a while, my preoccupation with food disappears effortlessly.  Small miracles.

I've taken a little break from weighing, more so just to cut myself some slack of being "on-track" or "off-track"...I'm just letting myself be.  My clothes feel somewhat looser - that is nice (not to mention, more comfortable).  Don't get me wrong...I am still staying accountable to myself.  Yet, right now, my measures of success are more in what I'm choosing to eat and how I feel.  What I'm doing feels right, and the number on the scale can't reflect all of that.

I've been treating myself well, and a large part of that has been cutting out stuff I feel I should do.  On that list?  Russian class.  Doing favors for other people who never return the favors.  Baking all sorts of crazy things in an attempt to impress people.  Overcommitting myself.  I had to simplify things and really look at what is best for me and my family...apart from that, if I don't enjoy it, out it goes.  At least for now.  Why waste my time forcing myself to do things I don't have to or want to do???
And you know...doing less of all that for a while has helped a great deal.  I'm focusing on doing things that make me feel good inside.  It's working - my outlook has improved immensely.

So what have I been doing?  Taking time to read (right now, it's "The Drama of the Gifted Child").  Lighting my favorite scented candles ("Fall Festival" from Yankee Candle...which I brought back from the US.  Yummy...)  Decorating for Christmas.  Meeting with friends for coffee.  Making crafts with my kids.  Watching old movies ("On the Waterfront", "Citizen Kane", "The French Connection").  Plain, old utterly unproductive fun stuff.  Happy stuff.

The missing link?  Exercise...I'm getting there...but I am not ready to push myself.  I am taking a break from pushing myself too far.  Nothing good comes of that after a while - not fun.
In a nutshell, I've slowed down and I'm taking time to enjoy very simple things.  Funnily enough, when I cut out all the distractions and "noise", my eating just falls into place.  It might not be Thanksgiving yet, and heck, I'm not even American, but I am definitely thankful lately.